Writing Blog

I have just launched my professional writing blog, Here's Your Bucket. I'll be doing most of my writing-related pondering over there, so please visit! And follow!

Fat, Begone!

Behold, my flagship dinner on Day One of re-starting Weight Watchers (or, at least, following the Points system on my own...):


The Scoop at Diesel Cafe in Davis Square: hummus, sourdough bread, tomatoes, cucumbers, mixed greens, sprouts, carrots and radishes. YUM!

The Big Apple Redeemed

For a long time, I wasted a lot of energy hating New York City.

I partially blame my upbringing in the semi-rural Midwest, which made visiting a stiflingly-large city filled with fast-moving, brash individuals just about as alien as you can get.

But I mostly blame my previous two visits there. In high school, I followed around my parents, who insisted on traditional sightseeing stops, and little cousin, who insisted on shopping. We did see The Lion King, which was spectacular, but overall I don't have fond memories. I think it was hot, and my dad decided to eat at pretty much the same deli every day. Come on, Dad...do you know how many good restaurants there are in this city?

Fast-forward to college, when I still lived in the semi-rural Midwest, and I went to NYC with some friends to visit my roommate. I remember getting lost driving in the city, running around trying to find student-discount Broadway tickets, and sleeping on a cold, hard floor. Oh and my cat died while I was there. So again...not fond memories.

So naturally, now that I've been in Boston for a while and more acclimated to urban living, AND now that it only costs about $40 round-trip to get down to NYC, I couldn't find a reason not to give it another shot. Joel and I took a quick, un-eventful bus ride and BAM. It was that easy. It helped that he has a friend in the city who has a much warmer floor, too.

In addition to spending time with Ms. Jen, we:
-Enjoyed free folk music at the American Folk Art Museum
-Shared plates of noodles and seafood at Chai Thai
-Sipped exquisitely expensive cocktails at The Library Hotel's rooftop lounge, Bookmarks
-Scored cheap tickets to darkly funny off-broadway show, Smudge
-Stuffed ourselves with pierogi, goulash and kielbasa at Little Poland
-Ate bagels, NY style pizza, and drank Max Brenner's hot chocolate
-Rode the tram from Roosevelt Island to the main island of Manhattan, enjoying the views as we crossed the water

And with that ride, as I watched the traffic below zip along the streets, I gave New York a reprieve. There is a beauty there it might take a little effort to see, but it's there. I even saw it as we wandered along the windy streets in 15 degree weather. I would still never live there, but I don't think I have to waste any energy hating it anymore.

Joel and Jen, thanks. :)

Strikethrough

I love Google Tasks.

Not only do I love seeing exactly what I need to be doing at any given time, I also love to see those tasks in Strikethrough mode once they're done. (I'm assuming Google realized that everyone does, considering your finished tasks will actually stay in this mode until you physically remove them.) The most rewarding occurred the other day: Taxes. There is nothing quite as wonderful as seeing the word "taxes" in strikethrough, especially after you've spent two hours wondering how in the world you're going to file as a business owner even though you thought you'd been working directly for a company the whole year.

Also currently on my task list in strikethrough, because I like looking at them:

-Revised Stories/Seminar Proposal
-Get new Social Security Card
-Send in change of time to Direct Loans
-Talk to VW about selling car

Sadly, still on the list without that satisfying line through them, are:

-Sell Car
-Get Job
-Submit Stories to Lit Magazines
-Get Teeth Cleaned

The fourth one has been on there for about 2 years. I floss, okay?

I really don't know how I've gone so long without embracing lists, high-tech or otherwise. Because I get just as much pleasure out of adding new tasks as I do at striking them out. It says, "Look! Your life has meaning even though you're currently underemployed and spend a lot of the day at home! You still have all this stuff to do!"

I have also recently started a task list for the blog posts I want to write. I'm not including that in here because that would be ruining the surprise. Although, I can probably now cross off the one at the top... "Write blog post about task lists." Yup, that one is now done.

Strikethrough.

Another Fun Lesson Learned from Internet Dating

In addition to "Love you," another thing that will get you ignored on IM faster than you can type "LOL" is this one, which an overzealous dude said to me earlier today: "You don't want to miss out in this hunk of man." I think he was kidding. I think.

Parachute Making

Being unemployed with a small cushion of school loans is like knowing that you will eventually have to jump off a cliff, and you are just trying to make a strong enough parachute that will carry you safely to the ground. Some days, you think you'll never find the right materials for the damned thing: you keep seeing nothing but netting, wool, and monkey fur. Some days, you see nylon but it's too thin, with tears and holes in it. Some days you see material that is way too good for your parachute, and you know you'd never be able to afford it.

Today was a monkey fur day. It's soft and quirky, sure, but not good parachute-making material.

Non-Exclusivity and the Quest for Happiness (and an Extended Baseball Metaphor)

Ever since I made the decision to leave my marriage over a year ago, I knew I needed to work on myself before getting into another serious relationship. I knew I needed to see myself as an autonomous, successful individual before sharing my life with someone else, because I know myself well enough to know how co-dependent I can become. I am more in love with love than I think I know how to be with another person, as I proved to myself again this past summer.

But who doesn't want to spend time with a romantic interest? Who doesn't want to lay in bed until noon, watch geeky movies with popcorn, or cuddle in front of a fire? I want to work on myself, but at the same time I want to see what's out there. So I have been. I decided that I would date, non-exclusively, until I felt I had become strong enough in my own individuality to enter into a serious, committed relationship once again. After all, you can't learn how to play baseball by simply watching it on TV. At some point, you have to get out there feel the dirt on your cleats.

This works to a point. It worked for me for about 10 months, until situations shifted and I found myself, for the first time, green beyond belief. On Friday night I sat at the bar with my friends, trying very hard not to think about the fact that at that moment, the only guy I'm currently dating (and have been dating since March) was out on a date with someone else.

I bobbed for a while between wanting to know and not wanting to know. For a while, I liked hearing about his past escapades, and his current dates were nothing more than a scheduling barrier. But neither of us have dated anyone else for a while, up until now, and I find myself falling back into the same emotional traps. I would not ask him to be exclusive, because neither of us are ready. But I wonder about my ability to do this.

My solution for the moment, of course, is to be aware of my feelings. And thankfully I have been able to keep up an open communication with him about it. I probably worry more than I should about things I cannot foresee. Neither of us are going anywhere. And we continue to have a great time together, regardless of anything else.

This is just another reminder that sometimes, when you walk out onto that baseball diamond, your cleats will get mired in the mud. But you keep playing anyway.