Moving On

You have moved. Not far – to the next town over – but right now, you probably aren’t feeling so good. In the first few days after the moving dust has settled, and all belongings have safely made it to your new place, it’s quite easy to miss what you used to call “home.” Boxes are stacked everywhere, you can’t find the microwave, and the people downstairs have turned off your water all day for their bathroom renovations. Yes, then it becomes almost effortless to miss that one room where you slept, graded papers, ate in front of the computer, and occasionally had your boyfriend over for a cramped night of watching Hulu.

Because things are broken. Cranks on the windows are broken so the new place is always cold and damp. Outlets are broken so your room is always in half-darkness. The bannister is broken so there’s always a chance you’ll plunge headlong into the front entryway at 2am when you make your way down the stairs to go to the bathroom, where you have to fumble for the switch to the floor lamp because the light in the bathroom is also broken.

You don’t even have wireless internet yet.

At this point, it’s easy to lament the house on Parker Street, where you paid your rent by yourself for the first time, where you learned to cook for one, where you got ready for first steps into a new life that would bring heartbreak and those ridiculous squeals that exit your lips when you’re really, really excited about something. And you’re allowed to lament it – for now.

But eventually, you have to move on. You have to unpack the boxes, ask about the microwave, be patient about the water. Live without the internet (cringe). Because look at this place! Right now you’re typing this on your good old desk, right where you’re used to typing things, but it’s located in a study, a full floor below your bed. You have fabulous roommates who are loving and supportive. You’re a few steps away from a pub, a pizza place, a coffee shop, a used book store, a gourmet wine and beer shop, and closer than ever to that boyfriend who used to come over for cramped Hulu night. (Did I mention the study that’s not also your bedroom?)

For now, read a little. Write a little. Unpack one thing at a time. Color. Listen to music. Listen to your froomies sing show tunes. Eat toast. Because you’ll be home again before you know it.

Caesar Chicken with Pearled Couscous

I started Weight Watchers again today, and they have a really neat feature on their website that helps build recipes. So I made this one! (Online on the WW site here).

Ingredients:

	1 breast(s) Chicken, breast, raw, without skin & bone, cut into bite-sized pieces
	2 serving(s) Near East Pearled Couscous - Basil and Herb
	1 medium sweet red pepper(s), chopped
	1 serving(s) Newman's Own Light Caesar

Instructions:

1. Cook the couscous according to package directions.
2. While the couscous is cooking, stir fry chicken breast on medium-high heat in a 12-in skillet with Light Caesar dressing. 
3. When chicken is no longer pink, add chopped peppers (and whatever other veggies you would like). 
4. Reduce heat and cover, simmering about 5 minutes.
5. Serve chicken and peppers on couscous, or as a side!

Fashion's a Stranger

This video sums up how I feel about modern fashion. Whatever most youngsters have around here...I don't got it. And I'm getting kind of fed up with wanting it. More to come on this matter.

Spring is for New Arrivals, Like My First Publication!

I'm pleased to introduce everyone to my first published short story "One New Message," which was published by the nice folks over at 322 Review.

Like Printer's Devil Review, 322 Review features both established and new writers in an online format. Though the Spring 2011 issue doesn't center around any particular theme, the magazine itself likes to explore "the paths of human experience," which is probably why they've chosen U.S. Route 322 as both their logo and their name. Founded by graduate students from Rowan University, 322 Review has just published Issue Eight.

Check them out, won't you? And thanks to everyone for your support!

Thoughts from a Reluctant (New) Freelancer

When the temp job that I kept thinking would turn into a perm job abruptly ended in November, my first panicky thought was, "Unemployment again? Crap." Of course, a natural thought for anyone asked to clean out their desk this afternoon. Now, in fact. While your cup of coffee you just poured is still warm. But in the back of my mind I thought, "Hmm. Can I do it without getting another data entry job?"

A few weeks after I rode the T home with a big bag full of random office supplies (my own, I swear), I contacted Patch Somerville at the suggestion of my amazing freelance writer friend, Kristin Offiler and they offered me a story to cover almost immediately. Then, another friend who I met at Diesel, of all places, hooked me up with a social marketing firm. Suddenly this "no full-time job" thing looked like a distinct possibility. 

So since I started playing the freelance do-si-do, mainly coasting on leftover Christmas money at the moment, I've had some random thoughts. Here they are, in no particular order.

• Six cups on the coffee carafe doesn't actually equal six cups, right? Three at the most. It only fills up my mug twice.
• I love Joel and all, but I'm quite sick of him getting gourmet cooked lunch catered to his office every day while I sit at my desk eating cottage cheese.
• I cashed in my coins at a Coinstar a couple of weeks ago and made the best purchase ever: my very own oscillating, remote-control space heater. It's my new best friend.
• Just because I work at home doesn't mean I'm the de-facto housekeeper. But it does mean that I'm around more often to get annoyed with the state of things. I should start charging my roommates.
• I am running out of Pandora hours quicker than Fat Free Half and Half, and every month think harder about giving them their measly $1. 
• Writing corporate Facebook statuses is kind of like talking to a kindergarten class. And what do you think, kids?
• My evening activities are more precious to me than ever. It's writing group night, you say? THANK GOD, GET ME OUT OF HERE.
• Taking a shower by 11AM is early for me.

And finally...

• I don't think I would like to work at an office for 40 hours a week ever again. 20, maybe. 30 at the most. Maybe. If the pay is good.

And what do you think, kids?

The 21st Century and Relationships Revisited

Last year, I wrote this post about relationships and how we define them in the modern world. This year, I've been thinking about how we might regain friendships, and kindle new relationships, via social media.

A friend was recently contacted by his ex-girlfriend; they broke up almost two years ago. Although he'd emailed her several times about some of the things she left at his house, she'd not responded until a couple of days ago. But it wasn't via email: it was via Facebook friend request.

He was understandably confused. Why now? Why this way? Without knowing why, I knew the answer: because that's the way we get back in touch with people who have left our lives.

It's happened to me several times with people of my past. We'll make a conscious or subconscious choice not to talk for a while, and then out of the blue one day he posts something on my Facebook wall, or comments on my blog. Without addressing him directly, I'll comment back. He'll probably respond. Eventually, one of us will send a message or email to the other, still under the pretense of the blog or Facebook posting subject, but that's really all it takes. Now we're talking again.

I laid this pattern out for my friend, and sure enough, soon after she sent her friend request (and he accepted it), she posted a video on his Facebook wall. He responded with another video, a conversation ensued, and very soon after that she commented on another of his Facebook statuses, this time suggesting that he visit her. He just told me that he's "upping the stakes" by "Liking" her current Facebook status.

It's the same pattern that emerges when we start liking someone new, but don't want to be too forward: we inch into their social media world, make ourselves more known over time, and eventually try to jump the gap into IRL conversations. It's an obvious pattern, but it still works.

Who knows if my friend will visit his ex. Who knows if they will maintain any sort of friendship outside of Facebook or relegate everything to walls and statuses and comments. But my prediction of the evolution of this development is significant, I think, and showed that real patterns of relationship development emerge online. The question is that will these patterns lead to more, significant, offline connection? Or will they simply lead to more excuses to stay inside on Facebook on beautiful days?

Think about how you might have stayed in touch with old flames (or new flames) over the years, if that's your style. Do you think that coming up with patterns like this (and following them) could help us strengthen or rekindle friendships and relationships, or might we just be deepening our dependence on social media and the internet to keep track of our relationships for us?

Public Service Announcement on Dating

So you've been out with a new fella/lady. He/she seems quite nice: a good personality, cute smile, interesting things to say. But it's not the right fit for you. You've given it a couple dates and would rather not take the time out of your busy schedule to meet again to pursue something that doesn't rev your engine.

You must choose, but choose wisely.

Option 1 Easy, but Cruel: Do a Disappearing Act
"..."
Option 2 Moderately Difficult, and Slightly Less Cruel: Notify, but Lie
"I really had a great time tonight Martha, but I'm really just not ready for another relationship since my heart was broken by my last girlfriend who just joined the Peace Corps and is now fighting for truth and justice."
Option 3 Hard, but Humane: Notify with the Truth
"I had a really great time tonight Martha, but your inability to get my jokes really bugs me. We're just not a good fit, I'm sorry."

Since Joel and I have been dating openly, I've been on the giving and receiving end of this choice a few times in the last year. I always consider Options 1 and 2, but always go with 3. It makes my skin crawl to think that I might be hurting someone's feelings, but at the same time I've been hurt by the disappearing act and the dump-and-lie worse.


So as a friendly public service announcement, please consider Option 3. You'll feel better in the long run!