Everything to Everyone

In trying times, I have discovered that no one friend can be everything for me. My friends are compartmentalized, each one serving his or her purpose, just as I am for them: I know that I cannot be everything to everyone either. The ones that mean the most to me are scattered around the country, unable to be on-call 24/7, and this I understand. They shouldn’t be. But that doesn’t make me yearn for them any less. This weekend I spent time with several friends that have played a big part in my life, and while the combination of them settled my tired soul for the weekend, I am now cast off into my life alone again. I can’t blame anyone for this but me: I must take responsibilities for the decisions I have made. But in these trying times, it’s easy to break down and wish for a relaxing evening and warm hug from someone who knows me almost better than I know myself - and become caught up in dreams that this will once again be my reality on a daily basis. Ideally, that someone will be me.